Pizza Express should get better cutlery

This is a bit of a random post, but after a recent email-discussion with a few colleagues we came to the decision that although Pizza Express are amazingly yummy, reasonably priced and the oh-so-perfecto location for a catch up with your girlfriends or romantic meal with your other half, it has one little dissapointing factor that I just thought I had to mention. Their cutlery. I’m not talking about their spoons here, they are very fine spoons and their forks are good forks. I have on a few occasions, and I’m sure you have done so too, gone for a pizza rather than the pasta/salad option at Pizza Express and been met with a knife that is best suited to butter and a fork that is just well… a.. fork.

This is what I don’t get, to cut a pizza surely you’d provide a knife where you can actually ‘slice/cut’ the pizza rather than play a game of ‘how long will it stay on the plate.’ It’s silly really, the idea of going for a pizza with friends/partner gets me all excited, the banter we’ll have, the lush vino, the dough balls (I ❤ doughballs) and the best pizza in town but bloody hell what’s with the knives. I don’t want to bring out the 4 year old in me and have to use my bare hands (not very lady-like when in a restaurant) or ‘try’ and hack the pizza to bits-even with that, if not done in a tasteful manor it springs across the table quicker than Usain Bolt‘s 9.69 sprint at the Olympic’s and landing on the floor/someone else’s table etc.

Why have they not spotted it?

I’m not normally one to go a step beyond the ‘complaining barrier’ and write a blog about it, but now that it’s been mentioned a few times I thought I’d find out who else felt the same. I’m wondering that if I my post could be passed around, mentioned, possibly shared with friends, Pizza Express would do something about it.

So if you’ve been affected by the cutlery at Pizza Express, share your experiences in the comments part of this post. I’d love to see who else agrees. I’m aiming for about 100 + people to agree with me on this and share their experiences, from this I’ll pass it onto Pizza Express and hopefully, hopefully someone will notice and bring in a better cutting pizza knife.

Please note: This is a bit of fun and not to be taken 100% seriously and for the note of all big foodies out there, no pizza was harmed in the findings of me writing this piece.


6 thoughts on “Pizza Express should get better cutlery

  1. Those knives are such a pain! I only eat dough balls at Pizza Express now, as the pizza / knife situation makes me moody – not great for any social gathering 😉 I find myself straining so hard to cut my food that I lose track of the conversation etc! Hope your blog makes a difference Danni! 🙂 x

  2. Whenever I get one of their pizzas with a hole cut out and salad in the middle, you get a pizza cutter – everyone else who’s got a ‘normal’ pizza borrows my cutter as the knives aren’t sharp enough!

  3. I had a fairly boring friend who worked at Pizza Express as a waitress called Margaritta and her sister whose name I can’t remember, she wasn’t tidy though, in fact positively sloppy. They had a friend called Olive but not everyone like her.
    She told me that one of their boyfriends wanted a fork on the table, I can’t remember them having many complaints about knives though.

  4. Don’t despair! There are new knives. This has pestered me now for over a year, pizza good, doughballs great but what’s with the knives? When will the Play-doh course be coming? I’ve been using sharp knives for more years than I remember with varying degrees of success, but now I’m being reduced to an animal by a pizza shop?

    Every time we visited we wrote about our cutlery related experience on the “feedback form” (thus claiming yet more free doughballs) and last night, yes, all the complaining had paid off. People of the world rejoice! A sharp, serrated knife with Pizza Express branding* is now an available option if you pass what I can only assume is a cursory risk assessment by the staff.

    So here I am, 10pm on a Thursday searching Google for people with like-minded obsessions. Dear random stranger I really hope the revolution reaches your part of the world soon.

    *Picture available on request.

    • Hi Adrian, thanks for your comment. I adore you for your shared despair of this yet-to-be-changed-on-a-more-daily-basis for something so much needed. Here’s to the future of proper cutlery in all restaurants.

      Have a great Christmas.

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