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Looking back over the past year, how life has changed so much, honestly… it’s a little scary..don’t you agree?

Just thought I’d fill you in, I’ve been distant of late. It’s been a manic one down here in shitty ol’ Isleworth, West London, or that bit commonly known as the shit that hit the (literal) fan that is a few miles from ‘Heaven is a halfpipeHeathrow. No I’m not about to crack out into a cane-in-the-air, tap-dancing Fred Astaire or head bang to a bit of OPM love here. But I am about to start 2012 with a bit more of a serious Bada bing bada boom than last year, the year before that or heck the time before that and the time before that and so on (you get my drift).

Last year ended on one of the most fantastic and most sensationally awesomely cool, like RAD but totally and way more cooler than that feelings in the world. No I’ve not been caught up in some magical Narnia land or taken any form of drug that isn’t alcohol or cigarettes related. This year has been one of those weird fucked up out-of-body experience type dream come reality experiences that has been non stop since the beginning.

It started off with starting the 2011 with a twattish promise with my best mate that we’d both stop smoking (something we both kept whilst we were asleep but lasted all of two minutes whilst we were awake) and included us both being single for a year (lasted 3 weeks for me and 2 months for her) before we both failed every one of our 12 New Year’s resolutions within a matter of weeks. How time flies when you make the promise to it actually happening. Tis shite. So alas the year started off one crazy start to the year that just seemed to have got weirder and weirder. I quit my job, went on a bit of a mad sod-you-all-I’m-free stage. Enjoyed the freedom I had with my friends as much as I could. Got a few freelance gigs inbetween. Loved them. Made new friends. Got a new job, back in recruitment. Who knew I’d go back down that path and ended here. In total bliss. Minus a best mate. (She’s in Toronto living the high life). Whilst I am living back at home, again. In Old Isleworth just thinking how much life can change in a matter of months. It does change. Fast. Quick. Very Quick. Suddenly. Ridiculously quick. Like no other. You do those stupid thinking moments when you think back to a few weeks ago, a few months ago and suddenly think back to those moments when you remember this time of the year when you were 5, 6 , 7 or 8 years younger. How this time of the year or the rest of it you didn’t have a care in the world. You just lived life free and alive and without a care in the world. Then it changes. You look back at laugh at those times because it’s a long time since. Then your birthday comes and goes and viola… All of a sudden it’s dawning on Christmas. That moment when little kiddies go wild at the thought of Santa coming to bring all their Christmas wishes to life. When all those blasted Christmas songs come on and Jingle Bell rock flies through your head on every bloody radio station and TV channel out there. The ones the few of your friends love to sing and dance to when the stingingly annoying music plays again and again. No I’m not scrooge. Just fed up of those repetitive songs. Still with me?

Time changes. It flies by. It does this weird skittle and a jump and then you’re sitting there no longer just longing for Santa but longing for time to slow down or maybe just stop. Slowing down time would be easier. Stopping it would complicate things.

Looking back over the past year, how life has changed so much, honestly… it’s a little scary..don’t you agree?

But that’s life. That’s what Sinatra sings anyway.

“That’s life, that’s what people say.
You’re riding high in April,
Shot down in May.
But I know I’m gonna change their tune,
When I’m right back on top in June.

That’s life, funny as it seems.
Some people get their kicks,
Steppin’ on dreams
But I just can’t let it get me down,
Cause this big old world keeps spinnin’ around.

I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I’ve been up and down and over and out
But I know one thing:
Each time I find myself flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race.

That’s life, I can’t deny it,
I thought of quitting,
But my heart just won’t buy it.
Cause if I didn’t think it was worth a try,
I’d have to roll myself up in a big ball and die.”

There’s no ‘roll myself up in a big ball and die.” I’m just pointing out the lyrics. Kinda cool. Yet real and in a sense makes a little sense? Or am I going a tad bit mad here? Anyhoo, forget the lyrics or listen to them whichever. It’s all going a bit blooody fast I must admit. I’m not having a mid-life crisis, I bloody am not. But I am having those OMFG moments. (It’s the step up from OMG moments-you know the ones-don’t get bashful, agree, AGREE with me here).  You know the moment when life is just going so bloody fast it’s just weirding you out. Way too much! That was it. For me. When my sister told me she was pregnant with a baby (what else lol) but it made me think. OMFG it’s gone too quick. WTF?! OM Godsies. Yes Godsies. It’s gone to quick!

Actually honestly when she told me, it was over the phone and I was at the pub with my ex boyfriend who didn’t share the exact excitement as me because Karaoke and Pub Quiz night was on that night. Ass. Anyway she told me and by God it’s one of those moments when you jump up and down and scream. You can’t believe it. And then you can’t believe that time has flown to this, this type of news when you used to be the oldest and try your utmost (no matter how much of a geek you was) to look after the younger ones and you were gonna be the uber cool trendsetter. You know what I mean, because you’re the oldest so whatever you’ll do the young’uns will follow. Like getting married or having kids. That seems like a million miles off my plate at the moment but it all changed when I got that phone call.Now it was changed. Time changed this year.

I was to be an Auntie. My Mum (as much as she hates the word ‘Granny’ ) was actually going to be a Granny and my Granny was actually going to become a Great-Granny. It’s weird. But awesomely cool. I can’t explain that feeling when a partner sees their partner have their baby. When a mother or father sees their baby for the first time. Squashed up in their cute gorgeous-nous. But I can jump up and down and scream from the root tops that my little niece is just to die for. And by Jo doesn’t she know it. She’s got everyone wrapped around her little finger and quite rightly so. She’s the little angel. The little dolly. Gorgeous little girly girl of all 16 days today. A bundle of joy. She likes to pull funny faces, fly her arms around as if she was one better than any air traffic controller out there, kick her little legs when she’s not being rocked, swayed or sung to enough and scream to her hearts content if you though you were having sleep tonight and not being her 24/7 maid. Don’t know how my sister does it but she’s been a star. Time has been running by quick and I’m happy 2012 is starting off with a new addition to the family. Congratulations to my sister and her boyfriend on the arrival of their gorgeous little beauty Mya who arrived on Christmas Eve at 11.38pm weighing in at 6lbs 8 oz.

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I HATE SPAM

I hate spam. I hate email spam. I hate Twitter spam. I hate text message spam. Actually I hate ALL SPAM. Does anyone actually like getting spam? Anyone? All those out there who send the spam, I’m assuming there is a lot of you worldwide, do you like getting spam? The spam I’m referring to is also known as electronic junk mail, unwanted and unsolicited advertising for a product or service not that squidgy pink thing classed as food.

I’m not interested in getting rich quicker than the fat cats or losing more than 6lbs in 24 hours. I would just like to open my email and not see thousands of crap building up in my inbox. It’s irritating. It’s not one spam email or a ‘few’ a day it actually is a ridiculous amount of crap that pisses me off no end. It also gets my goat when a spam message sometimes labelled with your bank/building society’s name in the title and Miss Moon screaming for me to open it’s stupidly important email and it’s non other than a virus. Hands up if a spam email has given your computer some sort of virus? I’d really love it if I didn’t get spam anymore. Maybe that’s something I should’ve asked Santa for. Despite the evolution of anti spam software, such as spam filters and spam blockers, the negative effects of spam are still being felt by individuals and businesses alike. According to SpamLaws.com Spam accounts for 14.5 billion messages globally per day. In other words, spam makes up 45% of all emails. Some research companies estimate that spam email makes up an even greater portion of global emails, some 73% in fact. The United States is the number one generator of spam email, with Korea clocking in as the second largest contributor of unwanted email. The most prevalent type of spam is advertising-related email; this type of spam accounts for approximately 36% of all spam messages. The second most common category of spam is adult-related in subject and makes up roughly 31.7% of all spam. Unwanted emails related to financial matters is the third most popular form of spam, at 26.5%. Surprisingly, scams and fraud comprise only 2.5% of all spam email; however, identity theft (which is known as phishing) makes up 73% of this figure.

As much as spam pisses people off no end, there are anti spam measures that promise to block spam in the hope to fight again unwanted emails to your inbox. You can buy products such as SymantecCloud which is a spam filter service that prevents email spam from reaching your network and improves employee productivity by virtually eliminating the need to read and delete unsolicited messages. Other spam filters include the big email accounts such as MSN  which blocks some 2.4 billion spam emails every day. Saying that all this ‘Spam Filtering Systems’ can in fact be bypassed and Spam can still get through. It just would be great to have a time when spam no longer exists. No longer floods my email account and sod off to where the sun doesn’t shine. Or fired millions and millions at any given time to the assholes who send them to us in the first place.

I’m praying that junk emails will go away. Not that that will happen anytime soon. Why? It’s estimated that 58 billion junk emails will be sent ever day within the next four years. Something that will cost businesses some $198 billion annually. However, some researchers believe that based on an estimated current cost of $49 annually per inbox, the total cost of spam for businesses will balloon to $257 billion per year if spam continues to flourish at its current rate.

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New Year Resolutions

New Year Resolutions. Anyone keep to them? Anyone fulfill them to the end of the year? Complete them all? Successfully tick each one or that one big resolution off their list every year?

A lot of people I’ve spoken to in the past 2 weeks have been jumping up and down to reveal their New Year Resolutions.  The question is, how long will any of them actually stick at them. I remember last year, I sat down with my best mate and we wrote a ridiculously long list of all the crap we hadn’t achieved (yet) and 2011 was going to be the year that we were to do it all. Lo and behold, 1 whole year later, I’m sticking two fingers up to New Years Resolutions because I didn’t even stick to one of them on that list. How crap am I? I think I’m gonna stick to the fact that I need to enjoy 2012 a lot more without worrying about the resolutions I could do whereas every month of the year I should take Sainsbury’s advice and ‘Try Something New Today.’ Wouldn’t that be way more fun?

This year, I’m going to focus on the things I’d love and know I can do. There’s no need to promise that I’d learn a new language, travel to Australia, South Africa and America, all in the same year as this is clearly financially going to happen unless of course I actually win Euro Millions but that’s unlikely. Until then I’m gonna stick to the real deal. What will happen rather than not and what will be just cool for 2012.

I am, most definitely going to South Africa this year. I promise every year and now that my awesome friend Jd is engaged to the equally awesome Juan (love that I set them up) I have to go and see the whole gang down in CT. I literally can’t wait for the proper experience of SA.

Warm sunny weather, drinks on the beach, partying with friends, good ol’ fashioned and much needed gossip and obviously the chance to actually get a tan. I CAN’T WAIT.

Moving out – Getting My Own Place

Ok, no not officially ‘buying’ my own place but definitely moving in by myself. That’s something I’d love to do this year. Absolutely would love to have my own little place. More excited about having my own kitchen. That’s sad I know but I love to cook and having my own place to cook my stuff in would be fabulous. Oooh and a garden.

Do my driving lessons. Actually do them.

I’d love to learn to drive. I’m 26 and can’t drive yet. I’ve had a try out in South Africa on a scary road in Durban with an ex boyfriend but that scared the shit out of me. This time I want to try for real and hopefully with the first test, pass. Fingers crossed to that.

Go to Malaysia

My best friend Dom is there. He moans continuously how many times I promise I’d go over and visit him and never do well, this year even if it’s just a week, I’ll be going to Malaysia. I want to. Therefore I am going to go.

Towards the end of the year… I want a dog.

At some point towards the end of the year, I’d love to get a dog. Not just any dog but a little English BullDog. They are so cute. How can you not want one of those puppies. So so so cute. Adorable. I know, dogs aren’t for New Years Resolutions, Christmas or for Birthday’s they are for life and I want a little English Bulldog for all eternity. They are just so cute. I’ve always wanted one. Eeek the though excites me, no end.

What are your ‘gonna happens’ for 2012?