The Run Up To Christmas

So there are officially 2 days until Christmas Eve. A whole 11 months has flown by this year and December is here, ready to pull us into the Christmas spirit, Mulled Wine a-plenty, songs being played everywhere, ready for the birth of Jesus and time well-spent with family. Not sure if I’m happy with how quick this year has gone, but I sure am looking forward to 2014.

Christmas always tends to start early in the UK. I remember standing in the Tesco checkout queue, way back in the beginning of October and heard George Michael’s voice wailing in the background, and a woman in front of me buying a Christmas jumper. Now don’t get me wrong, I do love me a bit of Christmas spirit, but some of the things this year are just too much. I’m not a Scrooge, even though I’ve Bah Humbugged a few times this year, it’s only because of a few things, that just really get on my nerves, when Christmas comes to town. I have a few pet hates that really get my goat and if it weren’t for these few little points, I would be singing and dancing like everyone else. I’m not a bad person, I just don’t like having the whole Christmas spirit shoved down my throat.

Christmas Songs

I don’t mind a few Christmas songs here and there, but there has to be a cut-off moment in a shop, the train station or on the radio that should stop playing these songs continuously throughout the day/night/week/weekend/month. I’m not saying I hate Christmas songs, because quite frankly, all you lovers of Christmas out there, will disown me for my complete and utter disrespect for Christmas, but seriously, some need to have their songwriters, catapulted high into the midnight sky and taken off this planet.

If I had to have a list, these would be my top Christmas songs:

  1. “Fairytale of New York” – The Pogues feat. Kirsty MacColl
  2. “All I Want For Christmas Is You” – Mariah Carey
  3. “Last Christmas” – Wham!
  4. “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!” – Vaughn Monroe/Dean Martin/Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
  5. “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of Year” – Andy Williams
  6. “Santa Baby” – Eartha Kitt
  7. “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” – Frank Sinatra
  8. “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” – Jimmy Boyd
  9. “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!” – Vaughn Monroe/Dean Martin/Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
  10. “Driving Home For Christmas” – Chris Rea

These songs deserve to be flung into space, and the person who wrote them, shot:

  1. “Wonderful Christmastime” – Paul McCartney
  2. “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday” – Wizzard
  3. “Merry Xmas Everybody” – Slade
  4. “Merry Christmas Everyone” – Shakin’ Stevens

Fugly Christmas jumpers

I’m not the kind to entertain the fact of wearing a Christmas jumper. I’ve worn daft jumpers in my time, mostly because I must have been drunk when I bought them, but even so, have you seen some of the disasters that are considered Christmas fashion this year?

Here are my favourites:

I’m a little elf, hear my jingle bells:

Jack Wills knows how to do festive:

Look at the cute little doggy:

Here are my worst picks:

You’re not a Christmas tree love, no one wants to see you lit up like one:

No thanks, let’s keep your bells hidden please:

Why would you bother firing up [excuse the pun] your Smartphone to send your jumper a message to do this?

The Kardashians

I hate them. If you’ve read anything on my other blog, you’d know how much I despise them. Even their Christmas picture, just makes me want to slap them. You’re annoying, now sod off.

On the up side, here is Christmas taken to a whole new level, that guarantees even the most old foggie of Christmas past, will enjoy:

‘World’s best dad:’

Guess she nose how to draw attention:

No, thank you for the dove:

Let’s just turn on these lights shall we?

Erm?

Bearable Christmas?

There are no words for this:

Or this:

Merry Christmas.

D x

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