I Hate Internet Explorer, Want To Know Why? Here Are My Reasons Not To Use It.

I hate Internet Explorer. Not like I hate a spider in the bathroom, not like I hate the bus arriving 2 minutes early but hate like I hate Brussel sprouts, Custard or Justin Bieber. There are no more words that can describe the frustration I get from opening the browser to searching for what I want on IE. It has flaws, it’s slow, it’s rip-hair-out type of frustration, it’s useless, security is terrible and oh man it crashes way too much. It’s a nightmare.

Microsoft‘s latest TV ad featuring the awesome backing song of Alex ‘Dubstep’ Claire‘s Too Close, promises the world that Internet Explorer 9 is a faster, simply stunning (when has Internet Explorer or any type of browser been ‘simply stunning?’) and according to Digital Trends “IE9 will change the web forever.” Really? Are you sure about that chuck? It’s more worst ever browser, simply awesome commercial. Don’t promote something that can no longer compete with the big guys like Google Chrome. Now that’s a browser. Quick, efficient and awesome. I can open more than 5 tabs at a time and it doesn’t go into cardiac arrest.

So here are my top reasons (all valid and no doubt agreed upon by many) of why IE is just plain shit:

1. It takes forever to load. Even onto the homepage.
2. Bill Gates promises IE is free. What they don’t tell you, is you’ll end up in a psychiatric ward of murdering your laptop because it takes your soul with its painfully annoying everything. It’s a soul destroyer.
3. It feels outdated. No matter what Microsoft does with it, IE feels nothing in comparison to it’s awesome competitors like Firefox and Google Chrome. There is no comparison.
4. The letter ‘E’ of Explorer should stand for Evil.
5. No matter how many times updates need to be installed, the browser should just been left in the 80’s and will never be the future.Installations should be done by the browser itself and not be expected that us computer and internet users need to do this every time something goes horrendously wrong with the browser. Be quicker God dammit.
6. Just because Microsoft Office and your other products are good, don’t assume your IE is just as good or better. It’s not.
7. Name a browser that isn’t better than this? I can name none, I can name at least 3 that are better; Firfox, Safari and Chrome.
8. It’s security is pants.
9. There is no option to add apps.
10. If there is a problem with Microsoft’s browser like a bug and you bring it to their attention, don’t hold your breath on expecting anything from them. Google & Mozilla pay anyone who finds a bug in their browser and brings it their attention.

Anything I’ve missed?

Has Apple Lost The Plot?

What’s with Apple’s latest adverts? If you’re a follower of Apple and the Olympic games like myself, you may have seen the latest string of commercials called ‘Genius.’ Steve Jobs would be turning in his grave at the atrocious shite that the computer giant’s agency has produced. Without a doubt the ‘Genius’ adverts are the worst they’ve ever made, personally I’d love to give a high-five slap in whoever’s face, so-called account manager who came up with this monstrosity.

The ads by TBWA\Media Arts Lab feature stand-up comedian Josh Rabinowitz as an Apple store genius who is always available for Apple’s customers come rain or shine.  The ad’s first featured in the opening ceremony for the London Olympics (broadcast in the US) shows Rabinowitz being the on-hand genius for Apple customers at all moments of time including on a place, an expectant father and a shopper. All situations are just ridiculous and don’t show Apple for who they really are.

‘Basically’

A rather-chuffed customer buys basically a Mac that’s not really a Mac but is kind of like a Mac but not. Confused? Me too. The customer buys the ‘basically a Mac’ from a crafty retailer who promises the product has all the similar features and apps to the Apple Mac.

‘Mayday’

On a flight that as 20 minutes till it lands, an air hostess makes an emergency announcement for an Apple Genius to help a passenger who has forgotten his anniversary and wants to create a video for his wife using iMovie. As much as ‘forgetting’ your anniversary with your other half is a bad thing, wouldn’t it be even worse having it stuck on your Mac when you presumably meet your wife at the airport (should she be meeting him there).

‘Labour Day’

As much as technology may be your life and you need to use it at all times (like I am with my mobile), if your wife has gone into labour would you really give two craps if your Mac is working? An Apple Genius is not going to be able to help you. An ambulance and suitable breathing techniques will help monitorize your wife’s pregnancy contractions.

These ad’s make Apple’s customers appear to be thick idiots who can’t tell the difference between what’s good and bad. If you’re going to do an ad, Apple stick to your guns and follow in your old footsteps with campaigns similar to the brilliant ‘Think Different‘ and ‘1984.‘ For a company that makes it very important to give the world a clearer view into the world of Apple and their products, they’ve always given off the simply clear message that their products are easy to use and you don’t have to be a ‘Genius’ to use one.

What do you think?